· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT:
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS:
· A man has six items in his bathroom: too thbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel
· The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE:
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women you know who have a sense of humor and can therefore, handle it, and to all the men you know who will enjoy reading it.
I have a friend I met through the blogging world who is ill and it doesn’t look good. I have another friend I met through the blogging world who is taking care of her sick mother and it doesn’t look good. We are in economic crisis in this country. People are losing their jobs and their homes. Spouses are murdering themselves and their families because of despair and depression.
How do you go on if you have no hope? No hope for the future? How do you smile when you can’t feed your family? Where is your hope when the doctor has told you there is nothing else that can be done? I would like to share my hope with the world, what I cling to when I feel like I can’t live this life anymore.
Watch the video and read the words. It’s beautiful. It will stir your soul and will give you hope. In His love,
The Glamorous WAHM
Psalm 121
A Song of Ascents.
1 I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help? 2 My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber. 4 Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand. 6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul. 8 The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.
My God and I mean my God today has been one of those days with the preschooler and the toddler boys. As I am typing the two year old has an apple that he is throwing around the living room. Just about 15 minutes ago he took the egg carton out of the refrigerator and cracked eggs on the living room floor. Thank God my 11year daughter is home from school and she cleaned it up.
I love my boys dearly but I really need to get away from them. I am so mad right now. I’m listening to some Gospel music trying to kill the spirit of anger but I am pissed! I’m mad that I’m tied down these boys 24/7. If I try to get up early in the morning to have some time to myself, they wake up right behind me. All I want to do is be able to read my bible and have some prayer time in peace!
When the hubby gets home from work he’s either upstairs in the bedroom watching t.v. or in the basement doing his homework. He works with screaming brats all day in a pediatric dental office, so he has nothing left for his own boys when he gets home. And I’m not going to go and leave them with a tired, angry, frustrated dad. It’s not their fault he works with screaming kids all day. So it’s just me and the boys ALL of the time, ALL OF THE TIME. I’m blessed and angry all at the same time. Does that make sense?
I need to figure out how to do things differently. I need to figure out how to have some ME TIME. There has to be a better way than this. But at this very moment all I can do is blog about it. It really does help to get it out some kind of way. Believe it or not, I do actually have some good days. Just so happens today is not one of em and I’m blogging today to keep the frustration away!
I feel like the most unappreciated, unnoticed woman in the world. I feel like if I left, my family wouldn’t even notice and if they did, they would probably be quite happy. I’m the bad guy because I set limitations and enforce rules. I’m the slave answering to every whimper and whine from the kids. I’m the roommate to the man who used to be my best friend and husband.
The Food Network, Ghost Hunters, and the UFC are my husbands lovers. His threesome. My laptop and the internet are my lovers, my friends, my confidants. God is my sanity. If I couldn’t call out to him I would run away and go insane. The second time around was supposed to be better than this. Who am I?
From what I can tell, I’m pretty much nothing to my family. But God loves me and that’s what counts. HIS love keeps me. “Lead me not into tempation but deliver me from evil”…my constant prayer. There are days when I don’t want to do any of this anymore and they are more often than not. This is one of those days.
The Glamorous WAHM loves hosting giveaways, but those who keep up with me know that sometimes I just have to talk about real life ya’ll! It’s no secret that I am a Christian. I have been doing really well with reading my bible, praying, and staying in communion with God. But do any of you have those family members that just puts your faith to the test?
I am a hot head by nature and I have never been one to bite my tongue. But right now I’m biting it so hard I swear I feel a trickle of blood coming out the side of my mouth! I have a particular family member that is the most dramatic and manipulative person I believe I have ever known. They always operate with a motive I have their number. I’ve called them on it a few times but due to a certain circumstance, for the most part, I have to keep the peace.
I just don’t think grown folk should have to play games. It is rediculous. And I am called to be the light of Christ to this person? Well Jesus you are going to have to help me with that one! Iwould really like to pick up the phone, call this family member, and tell them a thing or fifteen. Instead I will go to youtube and find a video from my favorite Gospel recording artist Kirk Franklin. I’m not going to give in to the the “old” me. I am new in Christ so I choose to praise the Lord instead! Enjoy the video and praise him with me yall! Turn your speakers up. This one is good!
Cures For Panic Attacks…If you suffer from anxiety and or panic attacks, there is help for you. I am a Desert Storm veteran and still hate the sound of sirens and anything that sounds like a bomb. I have found the following information to be very helpful. The video is a “must watch.”
If you suffer from…* Palpitations* a pounding heart, or an accelerated heart rate* Sweating* Trembling or shaking* Shortness of breath
* A choking sensation* Chest pain or discomfort* Nausea or stomach cramps* Derealization (a feeling of unreality)* Fear of losing control or going crazy
* Fear of dying Numbness or a tingling sensation* Chills or hot flashes
(Source: American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR) 2000 Washington, DC.)
…then you’ve experienced firsthand some of the possible symptoms of a panic or anxiety attack. If you are reading this page because a loved one suffers from these symptoms and you are trying to understand or help, it’s hard to appreciate what they go through.
Just try to imagine what it feels like to experience one, if you can.
Here is a typical example:
Standing in a supermarket queue, it’s been a long wait but only one customer to go before you make it to the cashier. Wait, what was that sensation? An unpleasant feeling forms in your throat, your chest feels tighter, now a sudden shortness of breath, and what do you know—your heart skips a beat. “Please, God, not here.”
A quick scan of the territory—is it threatening? Four unfriendly faces queue behind, one person in front. Pins and needles seem to prick you through your left arm, you feel slightly dizzy, and then the explosion of fear as you dread the worst. You are about to have a panic attack.
There is no doubt in your mind now that this is going to be a big one. Okay, focus: Remember what you have been taught, and it is time now to apply the coping techniques. Begin the deep breathing exercise your doctor recommended. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
Think relaxing thoughts, and again, while breathing in, think “Relax,” and then breathe out. But it doesn’t seem to be having any positive effect; in fact, just concentrating on breathing is making you feel self-conscious and more uptight.
Okay, coping technique 2:
Gradual muscle relaxation. Tense both shoulders, hold for 10 seconds, then release. Try it again. No; still no difference. The anxiety is getting worse and the very fact that you are out of coping techniques worsens your panic. If only you were surrounded by your family, or a close friend were beside you so you could feel more confident in dealing with this situation.
Now, the adrenaline is really pumping through your system, your body is tingling with uncomfortable sensations, and now the dreaded feeling of losing complete control engulfs your emotions. No one around you has any idea of the sheer terror you are experiencing. For them, it’s just a regular day and another frustratingly slow queue in the supermarket.
You are out of options. Time for Plan C.
The most basic coping skill of all is “fleeing.” Excuse yourself from the queue; you are slightly embarrassed as it is now that it is your turn to pay. The cashier is looking bewildered as you leave your shopping behind and stroll towards the door. There is no time for excuses—you need to be alone. You leave the supermarket and get into your car to ride it out alone. Could this be the big one? The one you fear will push you over the edge mentally and physically. Ten minutes later the panic subsides.
It’s 10:30 a.m. How are you going to make it through the rest of the day?
If you suffer from panic or anxiety attacks, the above scenerio probably sounds very familiar. It may have even induced feelings of anxiety and panic just reading it. The particular situations that trigger your panic and anxiety may differ; maybe the bodily sensations are a little different. Or maybe it happened to you for the first time on a plane, in the dentist chair, or even at home, while doing nothing in particular.
If you have ever had what has become known as a “panic attack,” take comfort in the fact that you are by no means alone.
A panic attack always comes with the acute sense of impending doom. You feel you are either about to lose your mind or one of your vital bodily functions is about to cease functioning and you will end your days right there among the canned goods and frozen food.
You are by no means alone; you’re not even one in a million. In America, it is estimated that almost 5% of the population suffer from some form of anxiety disorder. For some, it may be the infrequent panic attacks that only crop up in particular situations-like when having to speak in front of others, while, for other people, it can be so frequent and recurring that it inhibits them from leaving their home. Frequent panic attacks often develop into what medical physicians refer to as an “anxiety disorder.”
One of the first steps to regaining control of your life is getting helpful information. This site will give you that, and more.
The beginning of your recovery starts here. What you will learn is that there is a very good chance you are about to end the cycle of panic attacks in your life. You will learn not only to regain the carefree life you remember once having, but will also gain new confidence in living. Your answer to living free from “panic” or “anxiety attacks” is at hand.
This site demonstrates that the panic and anxiety that you have experienced will be the very key to your courage and success.
Begin the road to recovery by browsing through the site. While many of you may have read almost everything you can possibly read relating to panic and anxiety I assure you this site offers something very effective.
Did you know…?
The key difference between someone who is cured of panic attacks and those who are not is really very simple. The people who are cured no longer fear panic attacks. I’ll try to show you how to be one of these people as well.
What if I told you the trick to ending panic and anxiety attacks is to want to have one. That sounds strange, even contradictory, but let me explain.
The trick to panic attacks is wanting to have one-the wanting pushes it away. Can you have a panic attack in this very second? No!
You know the saying that “what you resist, persists.” Well that saying applies perfectly to fear. If you resist a situation out of fear, the fear around that issue will persist. How do you stop resisting–you move directly into it, into the path of the anxiety, and by doing so it cannot persist.
In essence what this means is that if you daily voluntarily seek to have a panic attack, you cannot have one. Try in this very moment to have a panic attack and I will guarantee you cannot. You may not realize it but you have always decided to panic. You make the choice by saying this is beyond my control.
Another way to appreciate this is to imagine having a panic attack as like standing on a cliff’s edge. The anxiety seemingly pushes you closer to falling over the edge.
To be rid of the fear you must metaphorically jump. You must jump off the cliff edge and into the anxiety and fear and all the things that you fear most.
How do you jump? You jump by wanting to have a panic attack. You go about your day asking for anxiety and panic attacks to appear.
Your real safety is the fact that a panic attack will never harm you. That is medical fact. You are safe, the sensations are wild but no harm will come to you. Your heart is racing but no harm will come to you. The jump becomes nothing more than a two foot drop! Perfectly safe.
Joe Barry is an international panic disorder coach. His informative site on all issues related to panic and anxiety attacks can be found here:Cures For Panic Attacks
My God and I mean my God today has been one of those days with the preschooler and the toddler boys. As I am typing the two year old has an apple that he is throwing around the living room. Just about 15 minutes ago he took the egg carton out of the refrigerator and cracked eggs on the living room floor. Thank God my 11year daughter is home from school and she cleaned it up.
I feel like the most unappreciated, unnoticed woman in the world. I feel like if I left, my family wouldn’t even notice and if they did, they would probably be quite happy. I’m the bad guy because I set limitations and enforce rules. I’m the slave answering to every whimper and whine from the kids. I’m the roommate to the man who used to be my best friend and husband.
