NICKNAMES:

·         If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah.

·         If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:

·         When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

·         When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:

·         A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

·         A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS:

·         A man has six items in his bathroom: too thbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel

·         The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these  items.

ARGUMENTS:

·         A woman has the last word in any argument.

·         Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:

·         A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

·         A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women you know who have a sense of humor and can therefore, handle it, and to all the men you know who will enjoy reading it.