I feel like the most unappreciated, unnoticed woman in the world. I feel like if I left, my family wouldn’t even notice and if they did, they would probably be quite happy. I’m the bad guy because I set limitations and enforce rules. I’m the slave answering to every whimper and whine from the kids. I’m the roommate to the man who used to be my best friend and husband.
The Food Network, Ghost Hunters, and the UFC are my husbands lovers. His threesome. My laptop and the internet are my lovers, my friends, my confidants. God is my sanity. If I couldn’t call out to him I would run away and go insane. The second time around was supposed to be better than this. Who am I?
From what I can tell, I’m pretty much nothing to my family. But God loves me and that’s what counts. HIS love keeps me. “Lead me not into tempation but deliver me from evil”…my constant prayer. There are days when I don’t want to do any of this anymore and they are more often than not. This is one of those days.
Trust me children will see in hindsight that rules have to be set by someone and do know everything you do for then,when your young your so caught up in your little dramas you dont think to show it,from a formally selfish now reformed and gratefull daughter.
sinead´s last blog post..Red wine body scrub(recipe)
((((((hugs)))))))) sweetie, stay strong. I appreciate you you. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Am sending positive happy vibes your way.
Hang in there,it will get better,relationships change
and they grow,we feel left behind ,but we can change
the way we feel and look at things and God is on your
side.Time heals,we need patience and understanding.
He is home and not at a bar,that is the difference.
Yes you would be missed,take my word on that
My heart aches for you. I wish I had some pat answer or uplifting quote that would make it all seem to make sense, but I don’t. I am so sorry, sweetie. Thank you for sharing your feelings. There are those people who project only the most perfect things in themselves and only the most “Hallmark” moments of their family live are doing themselves and the rest of us a disservice.
I know exactly what you mean about just sharing a bed with your husband. I do the same. Nothing is there, nothing happens. I made a decision some time ago that I would be my own best friend. To treat myself the way I was treating and taking care of everyone else. After a fridge full of frozen meals for an entire month, my cooking is now appreciated. And I appreciated my month off. I took a vacation. I only washed my clothes, cleaned my bathroom, did my dishes, picked up my messes. I took computer classes at the library, a cake decorating and a sewing class at the local craft store. I cut back on the snack food and pizza budget and spent the money on a new hairdo and a manicure. In that month (January) I found freedom, my family found their responsibilities and a respect for what I do. In some ways the changes of that month were good, others were not so good. The next month we settled into a routine. a different routine, one in which I do my part and a little more, and that’s it. I still take classes. I go to the comedy club and out to lunch with my friends on the weekend. My family sees me more as a person, not just mom or spouse. My husband sees me as a more interesting person, I think. Seeing me go out with my friends has been a wake up call to him. I do what I want. When he wants to be that man I fell in love with again. I will welcome him with open arms, until then I’ll be my own best friend.
Much love to you, sweetie. You will be in my thoughts and my prayers. Heather
Awwwws I have had those days! Sometimes to the point where I just wonder how I could have ever been like that to my mom. I didn’t understand when I was little, and now I totally do! Sometimes people don’t realize the affect they create by not appreciating or rather, not showing their appreciation to you!!!! And, yes-its not the greatest!
Feel betters
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aww darling, I feel the same way, minus the Husband thing because I don’t have one. Find a girlfriend, and get some YOU time, maybe that will help?
HUGS to you!
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Man. I hate days like that. Since you’ve gotten some pretty good advice, I’ll just chime in with supportive thoughts and prayers!
Christina W.´s last blog post..Announcing Some Happy Momma
These days come often to me too. {{{{group hug}}}}
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I encourage you to find time to listen to all parts of a video conference that I posted recently “Message For Moms.” It’s not the cutesy stuff, okay there’s a little of that, but mostly it’s a about anger and how this is a sign.
“There is a necessary tension between where I am and where I want to be.”
When mama has the blues it can be overwhelming, but God is faithful and knows our prayers even when we’re silent.
Blessings
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I was going to send you this message through your “contact” page, but was clueless about a Plugin.
Anyway…
I just read, “I don’t believe in coincidence. For me it is always a God-incident.” and I’m stealing it!
I found you through another blogger, and how blessed I am.
You are now on my Blogroll and I look forward to visiting soon.
Believer´s last blog post..Poop!
Thank you all for your support! Things have improved greatly since this post. God just kept reinforcing that I shut up and pray! I think there is a book with that title. One thing I have learned and know for sure is that, when you are obedient to God and write His word on your heart, you WILL see your situation change.
Beleiver – Thank you so much! I am watching/listening to the fourth video. What an awesome series! Thank you so much. This is what I needed, another one of those God-incidents! =)